Ze drem vil finali kum tru

February 25, 2005 at 1:35 am

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European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivill servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typwriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”’s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by “v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivon vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

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5 Comments so far

  1. Dave remarks on on February 25, 2005

    LOL! I like that post a lot, mainly because I do a fake German accent like that sometimes. I think it only amuses me though. :-)

    Thanks for stopping by my site! (See you’re not one of “them”)

  2. JetShack remarks on on February 25, 2005

    Thanks for putting that up, I saw it a while back but couldn’t remember where. Very Funny.

  3. Opus remarks on on February 25, 2005

    Thanks for stopping by, love this, just got better and better.

  4. Anonymous remarks on on April 17, 2005

    Please post a link to the original post. I bet you are so full of shit.

  5. Pete remarks on on April 17, 2005

    You are aware that it is a joke, right?

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